Of Chimps, Crazy Ladies and Stimulating Talk

This has been quite a stretch for news my friends so let’s get to it. We have had the President of the United States telling us the end is near and any delay in implementing his stimulus bill will result in a catastrophe of biblical proportions. That dire warning was issued moments before the President with family and friends in tow took Air Force One out for a jaunt to Chicago. There he played some hoops, got a haircut and took his wife to dinner at a restaurant owned by Oprah’s personal chef. My question is if we’re at the gates of hell, why isn’t the president at his post like the rest of us. And if the democrats are going to continue to squawk about corporate executives using aircraft paid for by shareholders, where’s the outrage over the new president winging it all over the country on the taxpayer’s dime?
Then there’s the mortgage bailout plan. The 90% of us who pay our mortgage on time are now supposed to bail out the losers and flippers who got their hubris and irresponsible behavior caught in the wringer. Let them go bust and we’ll pick over the carcasses. Too bad.
The story I’d like to ignore but can’t is “Octomom”, the lunatic California woman who just popped out eight babies after some obviously successful fertility treatment. Clearly the woman is demented and has no business having children and thinks these kids are her ticket off the welfare roll. But what about the fertility doctor? This clown should have his license yanked and be sued for malpractice by the eight children assuming any of them make it through childhood.
Then there was my favorite newspaper The New York Post making two very questionable calls this week. One was a front page photo of “Octomom’s” grotesque belly just prior to hatching. Note to the Post and women in general: There’s nothing beautiful about a distended stomach unless you’re the father and that’s a stretch!
By far the bigger editorial mistake at the Post was that horrible cartoon with two white cops and a dead chimp with a none too subtle intimation about Obama and a chimp. I’m white and I found that unbelievably offensive. I can only imagine how black people felt. It’ll be a while before they sell too many papers in Harlem.
The chimp in question was a 200 lb. animal that attacked it’s owners friend taking off her nose, eyes and hands. The owner appears beyond insane giving interviews about her “relationship” with Travis. They apparently drank wine together, bathed together and slept in the same bed. Enough said.
The sports world had to endure another episode of “Who didn’t do steroids.” In this case it was the outing of the incredibly narcissistic Alex Rodriquez. He joins a long list of ballplayers (mostly Yankees) who cheated. The good news is these bums serve to remind us how great the guys were who didn’t take steroids like Hank Aaron and Willie Mays. I played a round of golf with Mays once and asked him how he had gotten so good at golf and asked him if he had any help in the way of lessons. He told me “There’s nobody alive who can teach old Willie how to swing anything.” He didn’t need any help in the batter’s box either.
Politically New York Gov. David Paterson is in free fall for a variety of reasons beginning with the handling of the Senate seat. As goofy as Caroline Kennedy was, Paterson still comes off as the bad guy. But Paterson really shot himself in the foot when it was revealed he handed out hefty raises to staff members and cronies while talking down the State’s financial condition. A poll showed the odious Andrew Cuomo creaming Paterson in a head to head for the democrat nomination.
Speaking of Caroline Kennedy, it appears her Uncle Ted may have made his last appearance in the Senate. He is ensconced at an undisclosed Florida location and friends say the end is near. His departure will mark the official end of Camelot. Back next week with some interesting news…I hope!